Hey guys.

I don't feel like I'm doing anything, or even being anything. I feel like I'm just existing, and not even doing that well. I'm not asking for sympathy or compliments and don't want any either. I just want to rant and this has always been a good place to do that.

I'm waiting for an operation at the moment. It is in two weeks. I have a hernia. I'm scared. I also have a persisting sore eye at the moment which I'm going to go see the doctor about tomorrow.

Other than that, I am doing work at Uni but really don't want to be. I'm doing okay there but aren't as enthused as I have been this year. I don't want to talk to many people - there are a few that I want to catch up with but I could probably count them on my fingers. I'm really just being at the moment. It isn't an uncommon feeling for me but I still don't like it. I know why I'm here and what I should/could/would be doing but yeah. I think in part it is also due to me not having money so not going out much. I have four jobs at the moment and no income - well, I got paid $40 today but that's not a lot of help in the long term idea. My flatmates are helping to cover my arse. They are brilliant. And my arse does need covering.

I'm playing an online game for some reason - Runescape. It is a game my little brother got quite into and I never really got overly into but I am this time for some reason. I want to become a member so that the game is more than twice as cool but can't justify spending $USD5 a month when I'm earning about that.

I was sick on the weekend. I think it didn't help that I stayed up til 3:30am on Sunday night. I stayed home from Uni sick on Monday.
Today my girlfriend stayed home from work sick. I spent the afternoon hanging out with her. That was nice. I could have fallen asleep on her bed at one point. I don't have a bed frame - just a mattress on the floor and I think that because of that I never lie down and so don't get that random rest like I seemed to today at my girlfriends house. I'm being given a bed frame this week though.

That's life - I don't know if that's what I want it to be right now but that is what it is.

Hope you all are well.

Love, me